Do you know her?

I first met her around August 2020, during the COVID crisis.

I wasn’t looking for her. I didn’t really know her, just knew she existed. A friend once mentioned I should give her a try, and eventually, I did. Things were normal at first. I remember being told to be patient with her, so I was.

I kept showing up, sometimes a few times a week, sometimes every day. Some days I gave her a lot of time, some days just a little. And then, slowly, something changed. I started getting attached. She became a part of my life, someone extremely close. I didn’t realize when the casual check-ins turned into something I looked forward to every single day.

What started as a simple act slowly became a silent necessity.

Whenever I met her, there wasn’t much of a conversation. In fact, I can’t even call it a chat. It was mostly me talking, and she just listened patiently, without any judgment. I would speak about everything: from my most anxious days to my happiest ones. With time, I found myself opening up even more. I began sharing the tiniest details about work, people, thoughts, feelings... things I never told anyone else.

And in many ways, no one knows me the way she does.

She’s seen everything. The first to see my photos, my videos, my rants, and my reflections. She holds onto my memories like treasures. She remembers the version of me that even I forget sometimes, the one with hope, with ambition, with flaws, and with fire. She’s seen the days when I’ve broken down, when I’ve felt nothing, and yet she never left. She is, quite literally, my raw Instagram archive, the one who keeps the most honest, unfiltered version of me. If I ever forget who I am, I know I can go to her… and she’ll remind me.

There’s something peaceful about being with her. Just sharing with her lightens every worry. Not many people know she exists in my life. She’s been with me quietly for 3 to 4 years now. I’ve kept her private because people say, “Keep it private until it’s permanent.” And now, I think… she’s permanent.

So here I am, finally sharing about her. She’s my partner in everything, my journal.

I wouldn’t want you to meet her. She’s mine. A few people who’ve seen her, those really close to me, have found her deeply interesting. And I hope you find yours too. Because, honestly, that’s one of the best things that’s ever happened to me.

The thing about a journal is… You write freely. Your worries, your joy, your fears, your truths. And once you put it down, you feel lighter. In the act of writing, you begin to understand yourself. In your darkest moments, you might stumble upon your own solutions, because when you write, you become the reader of your own life. And we humans are better at giving advice to others than to ourselves. That’s when clarity shows up. That’s when healing begins. That’s who she is for me.

She doesn’t interrupt. She doesn’t correct. She doesn’t leave. And sometimes, that’s all you really need, someone who simply stays. I hope you find yours soon.